Sorriso Tímido

Sinto a tua falta, de uma maneira estranha... Comedida mas sempre presente. Impossível estares presente mas, é a tua ausência, deixou de ser doce. Deixei de pensar nela como temporária para a considerar uma ameaça ao meu equilíbrio emocional. A maldita :) sei que estas a tentar concertar-te, das muitas possíveis formas que encontrares por ai sem mim, quem sabe até não e estas é a tentar reparar esta caixa de vento, inconstante e insensível... Hoje à noite saí, fui comprar um rato para o portátil porque, nem sei como, destruí o wireless do outro... Só mais um para meter na lista dos desgraçados equipamentos electrónicos que foram parar às minhas mãos! E acho que não estavas pela Fnac como eu, porque olhei vezes sem conta a alucinar, provavelmente poderias aparecer a qualquer momento com o teu sorriso tímido, quem sabe?! Tal não aconteceu, se aconteceu ainda continuo a sonhar, não tenho dormido muito nas noites passadas portanto é normal estar concentrada... No sono e nas outras muitas coisas que não estou muito afim de incluir mais no meu monólogo. No meio de ilusões (vou fingir que não vou dizer isto, acho que me vou arrepender), comprei finalmente, depois de umas pesquisas profundas sobre o assunto, a tua prenda para quarta, a pensar ingenuamente que poderia substituir-te e o pedaço de papel retribuir o sorriso que faltava! Com isto em mente (e borbulhando a incandescente lama dentro do meu ser irritante para não enviar mensagem), quando cheguei e olhei de novo o embrulho... Estava certa que só não tinha esperado pelo dia anterior para o comprar, como é meu hábito, porque havia ali alguma coisa que não batia certo. Porque te queria em vez da prenda, e o meu ego desesperante por ti fez me decidir quanto ao embrulho! Honestamente, vou-me mesmo arrepender, a sinceridade contigo funciona de forma diferente das outras pessoas: os outros apreciam-na, tu abominas porque simplesmente pensas que são mentiras (regra geral)! Nada de especial para citar agora, já que estou a ir tão bem... Espero eu! Quando ia pegar na pílula para a tomar percebi que não estava ali mais, porque deitei a caixa fora! Agora é o momento em todos exclamam indignados: "Ai que maluquinha!". Meus tontos leitores deitei-a fora simplesmente porque acabou e porque SÓ vem aí a pior altura do mês. Mas o teu consciente poderá replicar pensativo: "os últimos meses correram bem...". MAS, e o mas aqui é muito importante, os últimos meses não tiveram o factor chave para o meu irresistível estado... SÓ os exames! Portanto, olhei para a tua inofensiva prenda e percebi que afinal a culpa não era só tua... Só tua e que com esforço (muuuuitoooo) poderíamos negociar as percentagens de culpa. A música por aqui está a pedir que te diga... (Coldplay - The Scientist) Muitas coisas desconfortantes... Muitas coisas desconfortantes tais como:

Come up to meet you...
TELL YOU I AM SORRY!
You don't know how lovely you are...


E entre borboletas dentro do coração como diz Meyer e apesar de não diminuir a minha culpa, e as consequências amargas (herrr!) - D E S C U L P A  P E T E R !

Nobody said it was easy...
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm going back to the start!

Por isso, Amo-te dono cruel do Sorriso Tímido... Espero por ti até melhorares... Para poder massacraste com a prenda que ainda não me compraste e aturar as tuas birras quando te puxar para o Japonês; ouvir os teus muitos pensamentos pessimistas sobre tudo o que de mau poderá acontecer a ti e ao mundo, para te contar os meus mais recentes projectos para as nossas férias juntos e para te preparar para algumas melhorias! Adoro-te sabes? Esse é o maior problema aqui. Esse é que deveria ter 100% da culpa sem dúvida! Finalmente, Blink 182 - I Miss You:


I miss you, I miss you...
Where are you and I'm so sorry!
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight.


13 de janeiro de 2011
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